I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
