Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
