first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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