So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
