Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
