first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
