i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I could fuck to npr.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
