no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
These tits shall not be calmed
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
