she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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