She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
