god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
My vagina is very pro this idea
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize