Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
