Whod you bang
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
