i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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