My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
