i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
