I think my vagina is haunted
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
