I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
