He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize