If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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