I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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