she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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