...so i touched it.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
