nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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