Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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