can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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