I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
