Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
