I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
