the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Randomize
