This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Randomize
