ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize