I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
