i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
