Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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