he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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