Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
