I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
