all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
