Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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