you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
there was a trapeze. enough said
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
