physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
How naked do you want me to be?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
