All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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