Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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