Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
