I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
