I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Randomize
