So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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