Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
