Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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