You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
