Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
