Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
