Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
