She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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