a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
