You're completely useless in the revolution.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
