We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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