I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
