Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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