Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
