I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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