i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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