Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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