when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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