I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
