Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
