Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
