Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
