she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
