I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
