You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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