dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
