my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
