this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize