he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
