My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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