can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
