y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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