i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
