Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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