Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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